la_mer_07

"The Luke Forney Initiative to Increase the Comment Leaving Audience Size

After careful consideration, Luke Forney has created a plan. Due to the very limited size of his current audience (1), he will begin a program to increase his comment-leaving audience. As this initiative developes further, you too can do your part to ensure the success of this goal through one simple step: create a post that briefly explains the initative and put in a link to this page. If you choose to, also leave a comment to this post letting Luke know that you have taken part in this initative, and the special reward of his thanks and gratitude will be yours! You too can help with the growth of a budding fountain of expository wit and wisdom!"

Let's help the kid out, haha! :-D

http://luke-forney.livejournal.com/

Are you happy?

Wow, so I just found out that Patrick is moving out at the end of spring break... to a place three miles from campus and is twice the rent. So many mixed emotions about it. On the one hand, I'm relieved! No more awkwardness in the house, no more nasty wake-ups at 1:30am to be yelled at, no more hurt. I can bring guys over, I can party, I can be me. On the other though, it's weird... someone who was a major part of my life for over two years is gone, for good. He was my best friend for two years, a constant. I did love him, and I guess a small part of me always will. But, wow. He's moving.

Have you ever had a dream that isn't just crazy and random, but actually makes sense in a strange sort of way? I hadn't, until yesterday. I had a dream which, though strange and even terrifying, made sense.

I dreamt that while I was here, at OU, I got sick for some reason, like the flu or something, and I went to the Honors Tutorial College for help. They were so sweet, let me lay on the couch in the HTC house and called doctors for me. However, when the doctors arrived, they were in white uniforms and had a straight jacket with them. At this point, I started to get a little anxious, and I kept telling them I was sane, that I just had the flu, but they took me away anyways. They took me to this house, hidden away in the hills which surround Athens, where they kept all the insane people of the area (sort of like a new Ridges). They put me in a room with a girl, older than I, who kept making tea for her Barbies. At this point in the dream, I remember getting hysterical, screaming, "I don't belong here! I am sane! I just have the flu, let me out!" After letting me scream for several hours, the doctors and the dean of my college came and roughly took me out of the room and led me down the hallway to a little cell, with no windows, no lights, no furniture: just a hard concrete floor. I was told, "Only good girls get a bed," and then left in that dark cold room alone. I remember crying in my dream, saying that I wasn't crazy, I wasn't insane, and I just wanted to go home, to get out of this alien world. As in all dreams, I had no sense of time, but I think I was in that room for a while, about a week or so, until they finally came and got me. "Are you going to be a good girl now?" Just wanting to get of the room, I just numbly nodded yes. As I walked out of the room and down the hallway, I looked out a window and saw someone I knew from high school, who was, I think, number three in our class. Thinking this was my chance, I started screaming at her to tell them I wasn't insane, but she ignored me or couldn't hear me. And, because of my little outburst, I was put back in the room. After another week or so, they finally let me out again because I was now acting "good" and I was allowed to join the other "good boys and girls" for gym time. Because I didn't feel like doing anything, I just held a basket up for other kids to throw balls into. At this point, I noticed, across the gym area, a young man sitting slouched against the wall. When I looked in his direction, he looked up and recognized me. It was Clinton. And in that look, we both knew that we weren't crazy and neither was the other.

And then I woke up, haha.

To me, it means this: that I feel that this crazy HTC environment I'm in is driving me crazy or pushing me into a place I can never feel comfortable in, and the only that makes sense any more is fighting against the death penalty. Perhaps I'm wrong and just insane, but that's how I see it!

Ah, back on break after a difficult quarter. Talk about a drama and misery! Alana loses her love, Alexis keeps going back to Chris, Alison and all her men, me and my classes, men, friends.... it's crazy! I'm not going into it, haha, too much drama for anyone to relive. But I will say that I am looking forward to next quarter. Fun classes, good times with friends.... and men. O:-) Ah yes!

Right now, however, I'm home, haha. I do like being home, love spending time with my mom and Bryn and grandparents, and having enough time to sleep and read. It's great! What I don't like, however, is how isolated I feel from the rest of the world, and that I don't have the independence I have at school. I miss seeing all my friends and peoples at school, and all the fun that goes with it. It's not so bad right now.... but I know by the time Christmas rolls around, I'll be going crazy!!!

Yup... that's about it at the moment. Yay, it's updated, haha!!

Ah, having an awesome weekend with my dad! Watched movies (Elizabeth, A Knight's Tale), introduced him to Rome (the greatest series ever!), dined, just had a fun time with the old man.

Hope y'all have had a good a weekend as I!

Ah, today has been one of those glorious sweatshirt days: fall has finally come Athens! Yuppee!

Well, I've definitely cooled down from this weekend, haha, and life has pretty much returned to normal. Busy, but normal. So much to do and not enough time to do it in!

At least Arabic is not the torture it was at the beginning of the year. Not that it's easy now, haha, but definitely getting better. Makes me more determined to get this language down!

This week should be fun too. Indian food with Patrick on Friday. Dance or Die on Saturday. Shouldn't be too bad. :)

Managed to talk to Harrison today too. Always fun. O:) Looking forward to getting back to Mass in winter!

You know, I'm starting to think that this is my life... to be invisible that is, because I'm so nice and shit. I want to keep people happy, and so I don't make a fuss. And even if I do, I take it back.

I did just that today with Alana, Alexis, and Greg. All of them felt as though they had done something wrong, because I was actually making a fuss, making my presence known (Alana being actually more upset than the others it seemed.... especially Greg, just felt like he was covering his bases). I don't want to feel like that, like a carpet, like someone's front lawn, that you only care for when it starts to go brown. I'm a person, I'm alive, so goddamnit, FUCKING TREAT ME LIKE IT.

On top of that, after Alexis left to go to Brandon's, she had the fucking nerve to call and tell me not to make out with Greg. SHE TOLD ME NOT TO MAKE OUT WITH GREG. WTF??!?!?!?!?!?!?! Really now. That pissed me off.

AND, I never managed to get drunk. What the hell. I had to endure all of that shit sober.

So pretty much, this evening sucked. That seems to be the current trend of hanging out with my peoples.

Only bonus: I got to wear my new dress. Whoopee!

This weekend has been one of the most bizarre and happy ones in a while.

Friday: Escaped the house and the memory of Patrick (as he was in Columbus) by going with the girls to Greg's place for the evening. Went well for the most part. Alexis, as it tends to happen, said some things I wish she hadn't. Greg was as entertaining as always. And the two of the managed to make me feel horribly awkward, even upset me, haha in the morning by being a little too friendly.

Saturday: Great relaxing day with the friends. Got to love Alison and how sweet the girl is. In an effort to make me feel better, she got me an awesome milkshake, a card which means the world to me, and a book. Could you ask for a better friend? And got to see 'Knocked Up' again. Love that film!

Sunday: Patrick got back, found the card I left him on his bed, and started talking to me again. He's still understandably upset, but he still wants to work out a friendship. I don't know what I'd do without him as my best friend. I feel horrible still that he is hurting, and sometimes I wish I could take all that hurt back for him, do something to make it right again. I guess I still haven't really realized that we're not together any more, hahaha. Weird, eh? Because I was the one that did it?

Anyways, feeling awesome that he's back and that I have such good friends in Alana and Alison, and Alexis. If it weren't for all the homework, I'd be on top of the world!